Are you at the point of worrying that your marriage might not last much longer? Do you feel that the relationship has gone so wrong that you can’t see a way you can fix it? Are you constantly wondering how to save your marriage? The following tips will help you to see the steps you can take to keep your relationship in one piece.

1. The first piece of advice for you to take on board is that finding solutions to marital problems is a two person job. Both partners have to be willing to work together to save your marriage.

2. Remember that no relationship is ever perfect. Don’t feel disappointed that your marriage has its ups and downs. If you allow disappointment to build up, it will cast a shadow over every aspect of your life. Feelings of disappointment can make you feel like a failure. That is not a healthy attitude to bring to a marriage.

If you are suffering doubts and anxiety because your marriage is not living up to your dreams of perfection, remind yourself that nobody knows what really goes on in someone else’s marriage. For instance, have you ever heard about a couple breaking up and been shocked because they had always seemed so happy? What other people see is only a veneer; to save your marriage, you need to work at the heart of the relationship.

3. Marriage requires work. To have a successful marriage both partners must understand that they need to work to make their marriage strong. You have to build a relationship, it doesn’t just happen.

A marriage is like a house. A strong foundation is the start, but it still takes regular maintenance to keep the whole thing weatherproof and comfortable. Love and mutual respect are the foundation of a strong marriage. It takes work to keep the relationship solid enough to withstand stormy times.

4. Don’t let the past poison your future. You and your spouse are bound to have problems; every relationship has problems from time to time. Tiny annoyances can mushroom out of all proportion. You have to learn how to deal with problems and get past them.

Some problems are so serious that they can cause irreparable damage to a marriage. If there are serious problems between you and your spouse you need to be sure that you have dealt with the problems and not just pushed them into the background temporarily. A successful marriage needs a clean slate.

5. Effective communication is vital. Every couple needs to learn how to talk to each other. The other half of communication is learning how to actually hear what your partner is saying. If your spouse criticizes you for doing something mean, don’t jump to your own defense without thinking of what lies beneath the words. More than likely what your spouse means to say is “it hurt me when you did that”.

Proper communication requires honesty. You have to be prepared to reveal your own weaknesses and worries. Both parties need to feel confident that their spouse will be understanding and will respect their feelings. Marriage is about two people becoming one entity. Feelings of insecurity are the seeds of anger. You need to banish distrust and fear and create an environment of loving harmony and understanding.

Don’t let the ups and downs of life break up your marriage. Every life has its good days and bad days. If you have a disagreement with your spouse, it need not be fatal. How to save your marriage is about learning to keep communicating without letting discussions become arguments.